i'm alive...

the oregon trail epidemic has finally lost its hold on me. i thought i was dying, seriously. i received a beloved gift from someone of influenza. high fever for days. aching and uncomfortable. no appetite. awful deep chest cough. massive headache. plus, as the people person i am i was forbidden to be around people. ahh, my cat wasn't very sympathetic either. i really thought influenza was either the 'flu' or something from the past. it was an epidemic on the oregan trail, but it is still around. the doctor said people use the term 'flu' for stomach and intestinal problems - but this doesn't compare to influenza. people are hospitalized with it, elderly die. wash your hands everyone!

alas, i am alive though. i am thankful to be alive.

while i was home laying on the couch i thought about one thing (it really hurt to think too). i don't want to be a career woman the rest of my life. i like my job, actually i love my job. yet while i'm at work enjoying myself i don't feel like i'm going to be doing this the rest of my life. what will i do? i don't know. i love working with women. everyday i find it a challenge to communicate with each woman in a manner effective to them. sometimes i fail, believe me. but sometimes i am honored to see real life come from these women. really, i want to build a family. i'm not confident that i would know what to do. i feel the tension between my responsible side and my mentoring side. one wants to build up our savings, pay off debt, work as much as i can. the other doesn't care and is willing to be creative to find some amazing money making side job to do at home. hmmm. thanks for listening friends.